The Gift of Indifference

Lately, God has been really good to give me the gift of what I would call, indifference. I’ve found it to be a tremendous blessing. It shows up in different ways that often surprise me. It isn’t a lack of passion or emotion, but it often looks that way when it comes to reacting to one outcome or another. He is showing me that His will and His desires are so good, far better than my own desires. If there are several different possible outcomes and I’m indifferent to any of them, whatever God allows, I trust to be what He wanted and what is best. It is a far better way to live, I’m finding, than to hang my hat on one outcome and be sorely disappointed when that doesn’t happen.

I often wonder why I lived so many years trying so hard to get the outcomes that I deemed best for me and those I loved. I think ultimately it comes down to a lack of trust. I didn’t trust that God had my best interest in mind but, I knew that I did, and expected Him to conform to what I thought was best. Over and over again God’s Word tells me that He created me, He loves me, He knows me better than anyone else, He thinks of me… That is really unbelievable when you know who He really is. He is the creator of the universe, I should not even be a blip on the screen to Him, but I am, I am much more than that to Him, and so are you.

How can I trust Him when the outcome looks bleak? The more I know Him, the more time I spend with Him, the more stories I read or hear about Him, the more I trust Him. How often have we jumped ahead with making conclusions and reacting based on not knowing every bit of information? It’s quite humiliating to find out later that our response was not warranted because we found out something we were unaware of or, that we had originally misunderstood. It’s no wonder why God tells us to be patient, to wait, to trust Him. He is good, He has good intentions for us, we shortchange ourselves when we run ahead with our own agendas and don’t wait for His blessing in each circumstance we face.